Just a few years ago, I began to consider in a serious way the differences between persuading and arguing. I am looked on as a person who easily get into arguments, and what is ever worse, almost every time I feel a competitive need to win in every argument with everyone. After having argument with me, some people expressed their anger and dislike of this habit of mine directly to my face. My daughter once told me，“If you didn’t argue with others, I would love you more. Mother.” But I thought arguing was a good habit for people especially for a lawyer. Through arguing we can easily make all the issues clearer and we can understand each other better. I never took other people’s critics seriously until I met a certain mother and her little boy.

I still remember clearly that evening when I met the mother and her little son. She walked up to me and said something foolish and ridiculous. I replied, “what you said sounds a little mad and ridiculous.” And I tried to explain why I said so. But she immediately lost her temper and shouted at me. I was angry also. I threw words at her,“You are a mad woman!”Then I stood up, turned myself and was going to leave. Just at that moment, suddenly in the light cast from a nearby car, I saw clearly the look on her little son’s face, hurt, ashamed and eyes filled with tears. I turned back and examined the mother. Oh my God, she really was a mad woman.

On my way back, I thought a lot. I realized lots of times arguing an issue served no good purpose at all and it hurt people somewhat. Each of us has the right to choose to ignore some information related to an issue. Each of us has the right to take a stand and to show an opinion as far as that can make us feel comfortable and happy. For a long time, I had just kept on hurting people’s feelings. You can guess how sad I was when I realized this fact.

Arguing is a usual way to persuade others to reach an necessary agreement with you. But persuading is not simply on equal with arguing. There are some substantial differences between arguing and persuading. Firstly, persuasion is that sort of arguing with a specific goal for both sides. Secondly, persuasion is that sort of arguing with both sides winners. If there is no specific goals, the arguing is not necessary. If one side can not feel more comfortable, the arguing is not necessary. There is also an easier way to differentiate persuading from arguing, it is according to people’s feelings. So maybe what I should do is just to care more about other people, not only care about myself.

Guo Xiuhua